I’ve talked a few times here on my blog about Baby Led Weaning, as well as my eating disorder. Before we had Bastian, we knew that we wanted to do Baby Led Weaning. We had a friend who had done BLW, and her son eats absolutely everything(including sushi, which Bastian won’t eat RIP). We started Bastian on solids very slowly when he was 4 months old, and now he eats almost everything. He loves broccoli and sweet potato and runny egg yolks. He’s an absolute angel when he eats. This is a post I’ve wanted to write for months, as I’ve watched my son discover the wonderful world of food. I just haven’t been sure how to write it.
One thing I didn’t expect when we started Baby Led Weaning, was how it would affect my eating disorder.
I’ve had an eating disorder for about eight years. Long enough that it’s hard to remember what it felt like to not constantly stress out about the types and amounts of food I was putting into my body. And long enough for me to forget how joyful eating can be.
Watching Bastian eat is a truly joyful experience. And I mean that in the most literal sense, that my body is filled with joy when I watch him eat. He approaches every new food with excitement and wonder. He tastes everything. And he doesn’t care whether or not something is healthy enough. All he cares about is how much he likes food and the taste of his favorite foods.
Baby Led Weaning means less restriction for me
One of the things that has been the most healing for me this past year, is that due to Baby Led Weaning, I have to prepare actual food for my baby to eat. It’s easy for me to skip a meal if I am not required to feed someone else. If I were to pull a can of baby food out of my fridge for my son, something I wouldn’t be eating, I wouldn’t eat anything. Because it’s easy, to not eat. When I put the effort into cooking a meal for my son, even if it’s just making a sandwich or warming up leftovers, I’m more likely to eat. I’m not totally sure why. Something about the effort that I’m required to put in for him to eat, makes me want to eat, too.
I don’t talk about my eating disorder very much on my blog or my Instagram. I admire my friends who are so open about their eating disorders. This past year has been very healing for me, and 2018 has had considerably less restricting and obsessive eating habits than previous years. And I’m really grateful for that.